The Energy Leak You Don’t See: Why Avoidance Drains Leaders More Than Action

Avoidance Feels Easier. It’s Not.

Most leaders think exhaustion comes from too much work, too many hours, too many responsibilities, too many people needing too much.

But often, the real drain isn’t what you’re doing. It’s what you’re avoiding.

The conversations you keep postponing. The decisions you keep replaying. The agreements you keep letting slide.

Those are the invisible leaks in your leadership. And they’re costing you more energy than the action itself ever would.

Your Nerve System Carries Every Delay

I went through a season of life where I couldn’t figure out why I was always tired. I was eating well, exercising, and even carving out family time. But inside, I felt totally drained.

The problem wasn’t the work I was doing, it was the weight of what I was avoiding.

Every time I told myself, “I’ll handle it later,” my energy tanked.

And here’s why: your nerve system interprets avoidance as ongoing threat. The decision you won’t make keeps running in the background, like a computer with too many tabs open. It quietly consumes capacity.

But when you act and finally choose the hard-right thing now, you disrupt the fear loop. You myelinate new pathways for clarity and strength. You free up the energy you’ve been wasting on delay.

The Moment You Decide, You Release

Think about it. How many nights have you stayed awake replaying the same unfinished conversation? How many days have you lost circling the same decision?

And then, when you finally took action, it only took minutes, but you felt lighter immediately.

That’s the paradox of leadership: avoidance feels safe in the moment, but it’s what makes everything harder later.

The moment you decide, you release the weight.

You reclaim energy.

And you model courage for everyone watching you.

How to Make the Decision Easier

When you’re stuck in the swirl of avoidance, the decision feels bigger than it really is. But most of the weight isn’t in the action itself, it’s in the delay.

So here’s how you can pull the trigger with more ease:

1. Name it. Write down the one decision or conversation you’ve been circling. Stop letting it float in the fog. Put it in black and white.
   

2. Anchor it. Ask yourself: What Agreement does this honor? When the choice aligns with your values, it carries conviction.
   

3. Time-box it. Give yourself a clear window. Five minutes. One phone call. One message. No more endless tomorrow.
   

4. Act small, but act now. The first move is often the hardest. Once you start, momentum takes over.
   

5. Celebrate it. Don’t downplay it. Mark the win. Your nerve system thrives on reinforcement. The WAH-HOO! matters.

The more you practice this rhythm, the more your leadership muscle grows. You stop leaking energy through indecision and start compounding strength through clarity.

The decision is rarely as hard as the waiting. And the freedom on the other side is worth it every time.

So lead boldly. Close the leaks. Make the decision.

Your energy and your business will rise to meet you.

Dr Barbara Eaton

Want to go deeper?

Chapter 2 of Two Streets Named Hard unpacks why the exhaustion leaders blame on overwork often comes from delayed decisions instead. If you’re ready to stop carrying the invisible weight of avoidance and step into clarity, this chapter is for you.

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