Why I resisted discipline for too long

For most of my life, I believed discipline was a harsh taskmaster. I thought it was something you imposed on yourself when you had fallen behind, a way to punish yourself into being better. And because that was the lens I looked through, I avoided discipline whenever I could.

I told myself I was a free spirit who needed flexibility. I convinced myself that structure would suffocate me. I bought into the lie that discipline would make life feel smaller.

What I didn’t see was that my refusal to embrace discipline wasn’t creating freedom. It was creating chaos.

Because without the anchors of daily non-negotiables, like habits that protected my health, my relationships, and my calling, I was at the mercy of my feelings. And feelings, no matter how convincing they are in the moment, rarely lead you toward the life you say you want.

They lead you to comfort in the short term and erosion of peace in the long term.

Discipline isn’t a punishment, it’s protection

The shift happened when I started seeing discipline not as restriction, but as the most loving gift I could give myself.

Discipline is how I protect my health, even when my excuses feel louder than my goals. It is how I protect my marriage, showing up for conversations and connections even when it would feel easier to withdraw. It is how I protect the mission I have been entrusted with, keeping me steady when the distractions and demands of the day threaten to pull me off course.

Discipline removes the burden of daily negotiations. Because the decision has already been made.

When I stopped asking myself if I felt like moving my body, I found a rhythm that kept my energy and focus online. When I stopped letting my mood dictate whether I showed up for my business, I found a steadiness that made my leadership lighter, not heavier.

And over time, my body and mind learned to trust that I would follow through.

What changed inside me

What changed was not just my schedule. It was my nervous system.

The amygdala no longer fired warnings over tasks that used to feel overwhelming. My body stopped bracing against the hard things because it recognized the safety in structure. My brain understood that when I showed up consistently, I wasn’t draining myself—I was protecting myself.

Discipline became the way I loved myself on the days my feelings wouldn’t.

Where do you need to lead yourself differently?

If you have been waiting for your feelings to catch up before you move, let me invite you to stop waiting. Feelings make terrible leaders. They are allowed to ride along, but they do not get to drive.

Discipline is how you create space for the life, business, and relationships you keep saying you want. It is not a burden. It is the love language that honors your future self and protects what matters most today.

Dr Barbara Eaton

Want to explore this deeper?

I go into this exact shift in Two Streets Named Hard, especially in Chapter 5. If discipline has felt like a grind or a burden, this chapter might just reframe it as the gift that makes everything feel lighter.

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And if you’ve already read the book, thank you.

Post a quick review, reply here, and I’ll send you an invitation to my private book club where we explore how to make these shifts stick—not as theory, but as daily rhythms that support your real life.